Ten Tips for Loving Relationships
Ten tips for loving relationships: Do you feel that your relationships are not as authentic as they could be? No matter how good or bad, in life there is always room for improvement in all we do and this is especially true for our relationships.
Heart Centred Relationships are about being our truest self and allowing our partner, our family members and friends to be the same. It is not about control, or ‘making’ others become the way that we want them to be.
In this blog I give you 10 tips that will help you to maintain a loving heart and improve your relationships. Tip #10 might surprise you.
Tips for loving relationships #1. Express Gratitude
Expressing gratitude is the practice of being thankful for everything you have in your life.
The simple act of being thankful for what you already have attracts more of that into your life. Especially when you are thankful with feeling – real gratitude.
When you are looking to improve your relationships, it is therefore important that you look around you and see what is it that you are grateful for already in your relationship. It doesn’t matter how big or small that thing may be – it is just important to express your gratitude for it.
To do this, get into the practice every morning of being thankful for your beautiful life and with whom you share your life.
Sit down, close your eyes, and ask to be shown wherever you can be a channel of love to heal any wounds within you; or between you and any other.
Ask that you ‘be shown how to’ and ‘taught how to” heal any issues with love and compassion.
What you will find is that your energy will shift. You will start to see what is working well but you might notice other things happening too. Be aware and watchful, so you notice the little miracles taking place each day.
Like conversations happening that are helpful and healing, rather than blameful and argumentative.
Tips for loving relationships #2. Look within
When words of others hurt or upset you, ask to be shown as to why they have really hurt you. Go below any immediate reaction you experienced to uncover the underlying cause; the true reason for you feeling hurt. That way we can ignore our ego self trying to protect us, hiding any underlying causes. When that happens we are unable to access and heal any deeper wounding that is buried in our emotional body.
Look for the answer within as to the ‘why’.
The cause of a lot of our reactions in life are buried in the emotional part of our mind as well as in our cellular memory /our body. Time to pull up those old weeds and replant more loving seeds that grow into more loving thoughts and actions.
Tips for loving relationships #3. Look beyond
If you are irritated by someone in your relationship/s, or do not like their habits, or a particular habit, ask to be shown how to look beyond that which is irritating and see the beauty that is inherent within your partner, friend, family member etc. As you are shown how to recognise that beauty focus on that instead. By doing this you also assist that person to bring that inner core self more out into the open. Their habits may be fuelled by a deeper hidden fear. The energy of your more compassionate attention will speak to their soul, who will encourage both their heart and mind to open and so offer ways for that fear to be healed.
Tips for loving relationships #4. Encourage
Encourage rather than discourage by praising your friend, partner, and children in their personal endeavours and their achievements no matter how seemingly unimportant they may appear to you. If you find yourself acting or speaking otherwise, maybe there is a part of you that needs your loving encouragement so it no longer feels left out, or resentful or jealous.
Tips for loving relationships #5. Take care of yourself
When you are more loving to yourself, you inspire others to consider being the same. That other person may have strong beliefs they are not worth of love and maybe fearful of showing affection for example. Your actions can help them find ways in which they can replace these beliefs with more self loving beliefs and actions. Lead by love and watch your your world explode into a beautiful array of fulfilling friendships, loving supportive people, and wonderful experiences. Love is the only energy that creates, uplifts, and truly transforms our personal world and the world at large.
Tips for loving relationships #6. Smile and laugh
Laughing opens doors to our soul where it may flow its presence into our mind and our body, and so help bring us closer to expressing our true wonderful self.
When we aim high in this way, others begin to follow suit. They can see that it is not so hard as first thought to give ourselves the opportunity to evolve into our biggest and best self. Relationships become more authentic and purposeful when we do.
Tips for loving relationships #7. Take responsibility
All of your actions and thoughts belong to you, no matter how they got there and who planted them into your mind and your body. When we don’t take ownership we are effectively given our life and its outcomes over to our fears. Fears have a habit of wrecking relationships unless both partners are very consciously aware of their issues and allow each other to help release them selves from the past, thus allowing the relationship to fully blossom into the most meaningful and purposeful relationship that is wonderfully fulfilling for all.
When we take full responsibility, which may at first appear fearful, we become strong, confident and more intentional in how we want to experience our relationships and live our lives. Ownership keeps us at the centre of our world and within ourselves. It puts us in control even when they are wounds and fears to heal. How else can we heal otherwise if we deflect and pretend these issues don’t exist. Running away will result in always being on the run. And where does that get us?
When we own our issues and our fears, we can choose not to allow them to bleed into our relationships where they can cause unnecessary suffering, anger or frustration.
Take ownership and become strong, and filled with purpose and direction.
Tips for loving relationships #8. Practice Daily Meditation and Self Reflection
Be committed to you. Put yourself first and take care of all of your healthy needs. Do this by spending time getting to know the real you through meditation, reflection and journaling.
Write down your beliefs about love, friendships, money, career, health and your dream life. How negative or how positive are they? Reflect on where they came from. Are they your parent’s beliefs? Did you consciously agree to accept them? Do you want to own them and live your life by them? Or do you want to determine now how your life is going to evolve and what you really want for yourself?
You owe it to you and the precious life you have been offered. It matters what has happened up to now, because you matter. Don’t discard any part of you because it isn’t functioning well right now. That jealous part of you , or that angry part is feeling that way for a reason. So find out why to understand the underlying cause.
Think of yourself in this way. You have a limitless all loving self whom I call Soul, and you have your human self. Acknowledge the bigger, limitless you. Don’t ignore her/him anymore. Get to know her/him. And if you have problems believing in her/him then seek healing to dissolve the underlying causes of your internal blocks.
As they dissolve so the door to your limitless life is flung open wide. And you will be very surprised in discovering just who you are!
Tips for loving relationships Tip #9. Speak from the Heart
Often words spill out from our heads and are not borne from our hearts, where the words we want to convey, and the way in which we want to communicate, would be enriched with an energy that holds much more meaning and make more of an impression on the listener. Heart filled words are so much more rewarding and nurturing to both the communicator and the listener. Better outcomes follow when words are felt and absorbed from, and to, the heart. There is less reaction and less deflection. Heart filled words by their very nature and the energy in which they were created are healing, opening paths for new understandings and learning.
When we are anxious of how our partner may respond to something that we feel is an issue in our relationship, we become caught up in the anxiety trying to pre-empt their reaction, thinking about what they might say and then how we will respond to their rejection when they don’t want to listen, for example. This impacts greatly on our ability to say what we really want to say.
So instead, when you want to talk about a sensitive subject that in the past that may have ended in an argument, leaving the issue unresolved, prepare ahead of time. Set the energy to create a a win-win outcome for both of you, by setting the intention for a loving, peaceful outcome that is supportive to you both.
To do this connect with your heart and ponder on what you want to say. In this meditive state ask your soul to help you craft your words that truly convey your deepest, truest feelings. Also ask your soul to guide you as to when the time is right to sit down and have this most important conversation. The time when your partner will be most responsive, and will also feel safe to listen and communicate their true feelings and fears around the issue being discussed. Ask your soul to help you remain calm throughout so you too are accepting of your partners input without negative reaction. As you listen to what they have to say, see/feel yourself sitting in the centre of your open heart feeling safe, secure, receptive and in control.
When we communicate our truth from our heart with the intention of a loving win-win outcome for all, that is when we are truly heard and resolution will follow. Even when your partner may not intially like what is being conveyed by you, your heart filled words will have sown a seed that may require a little time to take root before you see the changes. You will experience peace at having spoken what you truly wanted to say giving you the opportunity to let go of your fears about the issue, allowing your hearts to guide and resolve.
Tips for loving relationships Tip #10. Share
Even if you are on your ‘spiritual journey’ in the process of ‘waking-up’ you do not need to hide away or feel that others may be a threat to your inner journey. There is no need to hide. If you are feeling vulnerable, look within. Track the feeling and look at the thought that is creating your insecurity. You can then heal it.